So there I was on Sunday evening going through the motions of a mid-January Bingo when some gay decided to get lucky (not with me!) and win the massive Snowball that I had been quietly growing. I’d say I was raging but I’m not as raging as you folks (I know who you are!) who decided to stay home to watch some shite on the telly because you had the January blues.

Well, that choice lost you €1600 and gained you a valuable lesson: You never know when the snowball is going to be won. It’s like syphilis. You just don’t take the chance.

Your loss is that terrified-looking gay in the picture’s gain. No, not me! I’m not terrified; I’m terrifying.

And since you ask: I’m dressed as the lead from the Irish version of Les Misérables. It’s called Liberty, Paternity, Austerity and -just so you know – I die horribly of lack of consumption in the end.

And since you also ask: I have NO idea what he’s dressed as. That’s new money for ya!