May the fifth be with you! Or more to the point, may you be with us on the Fifth of May for our Bank Holiday BingO.M.G! Lots of great prizes and a really fun show, so see you at The George from 9pm.

Bring friends.

It’s gonna be a religious experience at Bank Holiday Bingo on Easter Sunday so expect to get spiritual (unless you’re a beer drinker or a Pioneer). That’s cuz we’re having an Easter Vigil! (Are you excited? I know I’m meant to be.)

To celebrate The Passover and The Passion (no? me neither!), we’ll be visiting the religions of the world – mainly to tell them how we feel about them. Expect blasphemy (especially if you believe in Zeus) and lots of sinful behaviour. There will be many of your favourite friends there – but only if you invite them.

Drag Queen “novenas” start from 9pm – but then again if you spoke fluent Latin like me you’d know that. See you there!

Why give up a night out with me just because it’s Mother’s Day? Apart from the ones who wrote in to RTE to complain about me, most mother’s love me! So get your Ma in on the act this Mother’s Day and get her into The George for Bingo. Who knows she might stay out!

Our Bring Your Ma to Bingo event is an annual tradition and while the mothers seem to be getting younger than the entertainers, we’re still able to show them a good time.  If you want your ma to get the full VIP treatment (which may include a shellac nail treatment from one of the less entertaining drag queens who needs to supplement her income by doing “stuff” on the “side”), be sure to book a table now! Here‘s how.

St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Sunday this year and, mainly because I don’t fancy swimming to The George through a river of wee and vomit, we’re putting on our show at the earlier - and hopefully more sober – time of 6pm. We’ll be full of nationalistic pride and celebrating all the ways there are to be Irish, including not Irish at all… I’ll have Irish dancing cailíní and bodhrán-slapping lesbians as well as a bunch of my favourite ladies. We will stir up such emotions in you that you’ll want to give up your life for your country (or just kill yourself).

Love is a many splendour’d thing. Or so they say. I don’t know what exactly a “splendoured” thing is. My guess:  Something that’s low in actual sugar but high in Xylitol or Aspertame or some sugar replacement. That’s all good if you have Type 2 Diabetes but not so great if you like your cakes to taste nice.  I suppose that means that love – like sugar – is just not for everyone.

But I am sure you already knew that. The postman who passed by your house today knew that. And, as Mary Berry said to the diabetic, “That’s just means that there is more for me!”

I’ve taken time away from opening Valentines cards to tell you about Bingo this Sunday where we will be celebrating Love in its many forms.

Also coming in many forms is the cast: I’ve got Dolly Grip, Victoria Secret, Kristin Kapelli and Bunny this weekend. Please be charitable! I know I will be because, as well as giving some sideways glances and sharp comments, I’ll also be giving away MONEY! The Snowball is €600 – €200 of that must be won on the night. There are other great prizes too.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

It’s well and truly Eurovision Season now. The Irish entry will be chosen next Friday live on The Late Late Show. Contender Ryan Dolan will be on the stage performing his song “Only Love Survives” and he says he is bringing a very special guest. Here’s a preview of his song, which has a clue to the identity this mysterious guest:

I’m off to watch the video to figure this one out. See you Sunday!